Life, Love, and the pursuit of Forgiveness

Forgiveness, this concept has been haunting me for awhile. What does it mean? How do you implement it in daily life? How can you forgive, not hold things against someone and at the same time protect yourself from getting hurt again?

While I haven't found all the answers, I have come across some stuff that has made me think and helped me clarify the importance of forgiveness. Therefore I will share some of my findings here, some random quotes, some Bible verses, and some of my own ramblings. Enjoy.

Forgive according to dictionary.com:

–verb (used with object)

1.

to grant pardon for or remission of (an offense, debt, etc.);absolve.

2.

to give up all claim on account of; remit (a debt, obligation,etc.).

3.

to grant pardon to (a person).

4.

to cease to feel resentment against: to forgive one's enemies.

5.

to cancel an indebtedness or liability of: to forgive the interest owed on a loan.

Forgiveness Quotes:

Keep a fair-sized cemetery in your back yard, in which to bury the faults of your friends.--Henry Ward Beecher

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.-- Mahatma Gandhi

He who cannot forgive breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass.--George Herbert

Resentment is like a glass of poison that a man drinks; then he sits down and waits for his enemy to die.—Unknown

Many people are afraid to forgive because they feel they must remember the wrong or they will not learn from it. The opposite is true. Through forgiveness, the wrong is released from its emotional stranglehold on us so that we can learn from it. Through the power and intelligence of the heart, the release of forgiveness brings expanded intelligence to work with the situation more effectively. -- David McArthur & Bruce McArthur

Sincere forgiveness isn't colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don't worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time—just like it does for you and me. --Sara Paddison

"Not to forgive is to be imprisoned by the past, by old grievances that do not permit life to proceed with new business. Not to forgive is to yield oneself to another's control... to be locked into a sequence of act and response, of outrage and revenge, tit for tat, escalating always. The present is endlessly overwhelmed and devoured by the past. Forgiveness frees the forgiver. It extracts the forgiver from someone else's nightmare." - Lance Morrow

Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future. Louis B. Smedes

Forgiving is love's toughest work, and love's biggest risk. If you twist it into something it was never meant to be, it can make you a doormat or an insufferable manipulator. Forgiving seems almost unnatural. Our sense of fairness tells us people should pay for the wrong they do. But forgiving is love's power to break nature's rule. ~Lewis B. Smedes

Bible Verses:

Be gentle and forbearing with one another and, if one has a difference (a grievance or complaint) against another, readily pardoning each other; even as the Lord has [freely] forgiven you, so must you also [forgive]. Colossians 3:13 The Amplified Bible

Judge not [neither pronouncing judgment nor subjecting to censure], and you will not be judged; do not condemn and pronounce guilty, and you will not be condemned and pronounced guilty; acquit and forgive and [Literal translation.] release (give up resentment, let it drop), and you will be acquitted and forgiven and [Literal meaning.] released. Luke 6:37 The Amplified Bible

My Thoughts such as they are:

Forgiveness is an important part of the healing process. When you forgive someone it does not mean that you allow them to continue to hurt you, it means that you quit allowing them to have control over you. Bitterness and grudges can eat you up from the inside out but don't really affect the person you are mad at. The best way to move on and allow yourself to progress is to forgive those who have hurt you. That doesn't mean you become their doormat but you do give them the chance to earn your trust back. If they lie to or hurt you again you just start them back at square one. You don't bring up everything they have ever done to you but you don't trust them until they have earned that trust back. Its a long process that you can't do by yourself, every time those bad feelings pop up you have to give them to God and ask for his help to take the bitterness away. Otherwise you become like this person:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atBg9zLI2bA

Anyway I'm done rambling... Would love to hear your thoughts on this topic... Especially you Mom cause you explain it way better than I did...